In human beings, many aspects of a person’s character is not innate, but shaped by our environment. The ability to face situations that are painful, embarrassing, or failure, and get up with a smile on your face to try and try again is an invaluable ability. However, this ability does not come naturally to most of us. It has to be earned and learned.
To study Martial Arts is the study on how to fight. Nowadays, most people equate fighting as a barbaric act of conflict resolution, commonly associated with people who have anger issues, drinking problems, or are for the uncivilized. However, for most martial arts, people tend to fail to see and appreciate the multifaceted mastery required behind it, where it is and exceeds most other studies.
When dealing with such a sophisticated study and practice, often than not, most people will enter with a certain ego. This ego if left unchecked or unbroken, is detrimental to the practitioner in the long run. This will hinder the personal growth of not only the individual but the training partners around that practitioner.
The ego we see most commonly goes by a more casual definition: an unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered ambition. It’s that petulant child inside every person, the one that chooses getting his or her own way over anything or anyone else. The need to be better than, more than, recognized for, far past any reasonable utility — that’s ego. It’s the sense of superiority and certainty that exceeds the bounds of confidence and talent (Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy, 2016).
So why is this a bad thing?
- Keeps you out of touch with reality
One of the biggest reasons why ego is your enemy is that it keeps you out of touch with reality. Your ego is what prevents you from listening to critical but necessary feedback from others. Ego makes you over-estimate your own abilities and worth, and under-estimate the effort and skill required when practicing martial arts, resulting in missed opportunities — to improve, to connect with others, and to further better one’s skill.
- Creates unrealistic expectations and entitlement
The ego makes you assume that you “deserve” some outcome — in the case of martial arts, a sense of seniority for belt based arts or belonging to an inner circle — because of your past efforts. It creates a feeling of entitlement: I want what’s mine I worked so hard for. What’s due to me after all I have done for you. I know what I deserve because I’ve been here for so long etc.
- Makes you dependent on external validation
Your ego needs and craves this external validation in order to feel satisfied. If you let your ego take over, you become incredibly dependent on external validation. This validation may take the form of only looking at the martial art from a belt achieving point-of-view, trying too hard to receive praised from the master or group of seniors or over stepping your boundaries in a social setting with regards to martial arts environment. This is not safe when your self-development is hampered in combat.
Fortunately, a good master will beckon an environment where the art has a wonderful way of controlling and moderating one’s ego. As they say, everything in life is 99% hard work and 1% talent, and martial arts is no different. There are people who are born with more natural ability than others, but no untrained person is gifted enough to stand toe to toe with someone with even just three years of training. So leave your ego outside the door before you enter.
“When we remove ego, we’re left with what is real. What replaces ego is humility, yes — but rock-hard humility and confidence. Whereas ego is artificial, this type of confidence can hold weight. Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. Ego is self-anointed, its swagger is artifice. One is girding yourself, the other gas lighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous.”
Ryan Holiday, Ego is the Enemy, 2016
